How to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself Every Day

Your relationship with yourself is one of the most important ones you'll ever have. Yet, those of us who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation (CSE) have often had to disconnect from ourselves in order to survive. As a result, our self-relationship may have become fragmented and toxic. But fear not, because there are ways to nurture it back into a healthy place.

Understanding Self-Relationship

A self-relationship is exactly what it sounds like—a relationship you have with yourself. It's how you view, understand, talk to, and respond to yourself and your needs. It encompasses your emotions, body, mindset, and behavior. It's at the core of how you treat yourself, whether with love, support, and compassion, or with criticism and disgust.

The Importance of a Healthy Self-Relationship

While the idea of a self-relationship may sound unusual, it plays a crucial role in all aspects of your life. Our self-relationship affects everything—from our self-esteem and relationships to our confidence and pursuit of goals.

A negative self-relationship can hold us back, preventing us from trying new things and achieving our full potential. On the other hand, a positive self-relationship can make us more resilient, improve our emotional well-being, and enhance our ability to connect with others.

Nurturing a Healthy Self-Relationship

Building a healthier relationship with yourself is possible. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Check-in with yourself

Take a moment to honestly assess how you feel and identify your emotions. If this feels unfamiliar, start by noticing the sensations in your body. Connecting with your physical experiences can be a gentle entry point into understanding your emotions.

2. Validate all your feelings

Validate your feelings by accepting them without judgment. This includes acknowledging and accepting unpleasant emotions such as anger and shame. Remember that even the most difficult parts of yourself are motivated by genuine human needs.

Validating your feelings will help you address the core needs behind them, leading to a greater understanding of yourself and self-collaboration for your overall well-being.

3. Set boundaries and say "no" when needed

Prioritize your needs by setting clear, fair boundaries with others. Whether it's declining social invitations when you need rest or stating your preferences, setting boundaries allows you to show up fully in your relationships, cultivate self-acceptance, and tend to your own needs.

4. Make time for self-care and activities you enjoy

Just like any other relationship, your relationship with yourself requires nurturing. Set aside specific time for self-care and activities that bring you joy, curiosity, and a sense of play. Treat yourself to a date or playdate, allowing yourself to fully embrace the pleasure of your own company.

5. Challenge the notion that self-care is selfish

We may have been conditioned to prioritize others over ourselves, but having a healthy self-relationship is not selfish. By taking care of your own needs and navigating internal struggles in healthier ways, you're better equipped to bring your strengths, such as compassion, to your interpersonal relationships.

6. Consider journaling

Journaling can be an excellent tool for understanding yourself better and building a relationship with yourself. Experiment with free writing or explore journal prompts to delve into your thoughts, emotions, and needs.

7. Practice positive affirmations

Challenge the negative narratives about yourself by practicing positive affirmations. Each day, name something you did well or something you're proud of. Focusing on your strengths enhances self-esteem and reinforces feelings of self-worth.

8. Seek support from a therapist

Remember that you don't have to navigate this journey alone. If you're struggling to improve your self-relationship, reach out to a therapist who can help you identify areas where you may be stuck. They can guide you towards a more compassionate and positive self-talk and support you in redefining your relationship with yourself.

Cultivating a Healthy Self-Relationship

Investing in your relationship with yourself is crucial for maintaining your mental health and fostering healthy interpersonal connections. It impacts every aspect of your life, including how you see yourself, how you communicate with yourself, and how you interact with others.

By practicing self-care, acknowledging and validating your feelings, and seeking support when needed, you can build a stronger, more empowering relationship with yourself. Remember, you are worthy of love, compassion, and a healthy relationship with yourself. At OPS, we believe in your resilience and are here to support you on your journey to healing and self-empowerment.