The Healing Power of Survivor Support

In times of struggle, reaching out to loved ones can provide solace and acceptance, helping to alleviate the feelings of isolation and alienation. These connections can offer a lifeline, giving survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE) a safe space to ventilate and accept the support offered by their family and friends.

However, beyond these personal networks, support groups play a crucial role in the healing journey of survivors. These groups offer a unique and understanding environment where individuals can connect with others who share similar experiences. Within these circles of trust, survivors find emotional support, validation, and a sense of belonging that can be incredibly empowering and healing.

The power of sharing stories, insights, and coping strategies with those who have endured similar challenges cannot be overstated. In these support groups, survivors find solace in the shared journey they're on. The process of divulging vulnerabilities and achievements in a safe space helps to reduce feelings of isolation and cultivate a profound sense of community. As survivors navigate the path towards healing, these support groups become invaluable resources, providing understanding, strength, and resilience.

At the Organization for Prostitution Survivors (OPS), our mission is to support individuals in or out of the life, without judgment, but with unwavering support. We work collaboratively with survivors, placing their needs at the forefront, to help them build a vision for the rest of their lives. We offer a comprehensive range of services designed to empower survivors in their journey towards healing and recovery.

Through case management, one-on-one advocacy, therapy sessions, and integrated movement therapy, we provide survivors with the tools they need to reclaim their lives. Our addiction and recovery support, coupled with referrals to housing resources, serve as crucial stepping stones towards stability and independence. Additionally, OPS offers community meals, therapeutic art workshops, yoga, peer engagement, employment services, leadership, and professional development opportunities. Our commitment extends beyond our organization, as we connect survivors to various community resources, assisting them on every step of their healing journey.

We invite survivors to join our Survivor Support Group, held every Thursday from 3:30-5pm. This safe space offers invaluable insights and an opportunity for healing to flourish. Each week, we explore different themes and topics relevant to survivor experiences, fostering a rich and dynamic environment for collective growth and empowerment.

Our Survivor Support Group sessions, held at OPS located at 112 SW 157th St, Burien, WA, 98166, are a testament to our unwavering dedication to and belief in the resilience of survivors. We strive to create an environment where survivors can find strength, support, and hope in the company of individuals who truly understand their journey.

At OPS, we believe that healing and recovery are attainable for every survivor of CSE. By fostering connection, offering support groups, and providing a comprehensive range of services, we aim to create a community where survivors can thrive and truly reclaim their lives. Together, we can break the cycle of gender-based violence and build a future rooted in compassion and empowerment.

Learning to Say No After CSE: Prioritizing Your Needs and Protecting Yourself

After a life in commercial sexual exploitation (CSE), it can be incredibly challenging to set boundaries and put your own needs first. In many cases, CSE survivors have learned that their bodies were not their own, which can make saying no after experiencing trauma even more difficult. But remember, it's not only okay, but necessary, to prioritize your own needs and safety.

The Importance of Learning to Say No After CSE

Learning to say no after enduring CSE is a crucial part of healing and protecting yourself. Unfortunately, re-victimization, or experiencing trauma again, is a common outcome of any abuse. For example, if you were sexually assaulted at a young age, you may have grown up with low self-esteem or struggled to stand up for yourself in similar instances because your boundaries had already been crossed.

In high-stress situations, it's not uncommon to dissociate, making it challenging to think clearly and rationally. However, there is hope. With therapy and support from others who provide safe spaces for us to be open and vulnerable, we can learn to address these wounds and reclaim our ability to say no.

We Need Time, Patience, and Practice

Learning to say no after CSE is a skill that takes time to develop. It's essential to give ourselves the necessary time to learn and grow. Setting boundaries may be a new experience for some survivors, and it calls for patience with ourselves. It's normal to experience setbacks along the way, but with time, patience, and practice, we can become better at asserting our boundaries.

In the beginning, you might find yourself saying no to everyone and everything. This may be an overcorrection to ensure that you don't send mixed messages, especially to family members. But as you continue on your healing journey, you will find the balance that feels right for you.

Stop, Take a Breath, and Ask for Time to Think

Remember, you don't have to provide an immediate response when someone asks something of you. Take a moment to breathe and consider your options. It's perfectly acceptable to say, "Let me think about it." Developing meditation skills can also be helpful in slowing down our minds, allowing us to respond intentionally rather than reactively. This is particularly valuable when dealing with difficult individuals who excel at pushing your buttons.

When you do say no, you have the choice to provide a clear reason if you decide to. However, it's equally important to remember that you don't owe anyone an explanation. Once you have made your decision, try to stick to it and let go of any guilt or second-guessing.

Embracing the Challenges and Building a Support System

Choosing to say no may come with consequences such as losing toxic family or friends who were accustomed to relying on you. Remember that those who remain in your life after setting boundaries are your true allies and supporters. They are the individuals who prioritize your wellbeing and contribute to a healthy and positive environment. Nurture these relationships and gently release the negative ones.

It's natural to feel fears, doubts, and insecurities when making these changes. If you find yourself overwhelmed or triggered by past traumas, it's highly recommended to seek professional support. They can help guide you through these challenging moments while providing the necessary tools for healing.

Start Small and Build Confidence

Taking the first step can be terrifying, so start small. Practice saying no to strangers or minor requests and gradually build your confidence. Create a list of individuals with whom you feel comfortable asserting boundaries and practice with them. As you gain experience, you will develop the resilience needed to say no to those closer to you and in more significant situations.

Remember, you don't owe anyone anything. Embrace the empowering statement that you have the right to prioritize your own needs and wellbeing.

Seek Advice and Use Your Support System

If you ever feel unsure or doubt your decisions, seeking advice from our staff can provide clarity. Talking it through with someone you trust can shed new light on the situation and help you make informed choices. Building a support system of compassionate individuals who have your best interests at heart is crucial during this journey.

Acknowledge Your Feelings and Focus on the Positive

While learning to say no can bring up feelings of guilt, anxiety, and disappointment, it's important to give yourself time to process and navigate these emotions. As you continue to prioritize yourself, you may experience a mix of guilt and pride. Choose to focus on the positive aspects of putting your needs first and remind yourself that you deserve to be heard and respected.

Remember, learning to say no can be uncomfortable but incredibly empowering. Through this process, you will discover who truly respects your boundaries and find the support system that empowers your growth. Consistency is key, and as you continue to ask yourself, "What do I need right now?", you will strengthen your ability to stand your ground and advocate for yourself.

The Transformative Power of Art for Mental Health for Survivors of CSE

At the Organization for Prostitution Survivors (OPS), we believe in the incredible potential of art to help survivors reflect, heal, and rediscover their inner strength. Let us explore together how art can benefit our mental health and pave the way towards resilience, empowerment, and community.

Expressing Emotions: A Path to Healing

Art serves as a creative outlet, allowing us to express and process emotions that are often difficult to put into words. Survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE) face immense challenges, including feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. Art offers a powerful tool to release these emotions, promoting emotional catharsis and providing a sense of relief. Through art, we can give voice to our deepest emotions and find solace in the act of creation itself.

Art as a Pathway to Mental Health

Engaging in the arts has steadily gained popularity as a means to improve overall well-being. Participating in artistic endeavors has been found to help individuals cope with mental health conditions and psychological distress, offering an avenue for healing and restoration. The beauty lies in the fact that art allows us to improve our mental health through creativity, enabling us to express ourselves authentically, without the constraints of words. Embracing our artistic side grants us the power to nurture our mental health and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery.

Fostering Community through Art

Art possesses the unique ability to foster a sense of community and connection. As survivors, we may face isolation and a loss of social connections due to the impact of CSE. Through participation in our art workshops, we can rebuild these connections, extending our support systems within our communities. Engaging with others through artistic endeavors helps alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation, creating opportunities for social interaction, camaraderie, and improved well-being.

Unveiling the Healing Power of Art

For over thirty years, scientific research has demonstrated that creative expression has the potential to affect not only our moods, attitudes, and emotions but also our physical well-being. Studies have shown that engaging in creative activities can reduce blood pressure, boost the immune system, and decrease stress. Furthermore, art promotes relaxation, a sense of well-being, and a reduction in anxiety, depression, and pain. It truly has the power to improve our quality of life, empowering us with a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and possibility. While the full understanding of how art heals trauma-related conditions continues to evolve, the opportunity for healing that art provides is both real and significant.

Expressive Arts and Personal Growth

Expressive arts encompass various mediums such as visual arts, movement, drama, music, and writing. These art forms hold the potential for deep personal growth and community development. Expressive art therapy allows us to laugh, let go, and relax, contributing to a decrease in depression, anxiety, and stress. By engaging in expressive arts, we can tap into our inner selves, connect with our emotions, and foster personal growth at our own pace. It gives us the opportunity to explore our unique stories and experiences in a safe and supportive environment.

Join Us: A Journey of Reflection, Healing, and Empowerment

At OPS, we invite you to join us on Tuesday from 3-5pm for an art workshop that delves into the profound potential of art in the healing process. This supportive and safe environment offers survivors an opportunity to engage in a variety of artistic activities that encourage self-expression, reflection, and connection with fellow survivors who understand and empathize with our journey. Together, we will explore the limitless potential of art to not only heal wounds but also ignites resilience and empowers each survivor on their unique path to healing.

Healing and Hope: The Vital Role of Mental Health Services for CSE Survivors

As survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE), the journey of exiting out of  “the life” is just the beginning of a complex process of recovery and healing. The enduring trauma resulting from the manipulation and trauma bonding with traffickers or pimps, the sexual abuse, and the weight of emotional baggage unknowingly carried in our bodies necessitate the vital provision of mental health services for survivors like us.

Mental health professionals play a crucial role in providing, guidance, and support as we navigate the complex landscape of our experiences. They help us find both connection and individuality within our shared and unique stories, fostering a sense of belonging while honoring our distinct paths to healing.

The aftermath of trauma is not confined to the mind; it is a whole-body reaction that lingers long after the traumatic experience has passed. The physical toll of trauma, from muscle tension and migraines to cardiovascular issues and weakened immune responses, underscores the interconnectedness of our body and mind.

At The Organization for Prostitution Survivors (OPS), we understand the impact of CSE on mental health. We are committed to providing trauma-informed services that empower our participants and community to heal from and end the cycle of violence.

Our comprehensive range of services is designed to meet survivors exactly where they are, whether they are currently in or out of “the life”. Here, there is no judgment, only unwavering support. Our approach centers on collaborative work with survivors, identifying their needs, and building a vision for the rest of their lives.

OPS offers a multitude of services, including case management, one-on-one advocacy, support groups, therapy sessions, integrated movement therapy, addiction and recovery support, referrals to housing resources, community meals, art workshops, yoga, peer engagement, employment services, leadership and professional development, and connection to other community resources. Each of these services is specifically tailored to address the multifaceted needs of survivors, providing a holistic approach to healing and recovery.

We recognize that achieving lasting healing from trauma necessitates empowerment and autonomy. By validating the suffering of survivors and providing a safe and healthy space for them to reclaim their lives, we set the stage for impactful and sustainable progress. Importantly, by listening to survivor voices and experiences, we gain a deeper understanding of the root causes of the conflict and the unique needs of those most affected by it.

Empowerment encompasses more than immediate support; it includes providing access to education, vocational training, and healthcare—essential components for creating opportunities and livelihoods beyond mere subsistence living.

As survivors, we deserve compassion, respect, and the comprehensive support needed to find our way to healing and hope. At OPS, we stand together as a community, advocating for survivor-centered care and working towards the collective goal of ending gender-based violence and exploitation.

In the journey toward healing, remember that you are not alone. Together, we create a space where survivors can find their voices, reclaim their power, and chart a path to a brighter future.

You are not just a survivor; you are a resilient, courageous individual with the strength to shape your own story.

If you or someone you know is in need of support, reach out and let's walk this path together. Healing is possible, and hope is within reach.

Why Survivors of Commercial Sexual Exploitation Don't Often Ask for Help

Today, we delve into understanding why many survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE) might hold back from seeking the help they want and deserve. We shed light on the many reasons that can impair the road to recovery, each as valid and complex as the other.

Walking hand-in-hand with Betrayal

When the individuals who were pledged to provide love, care, and protection instead inflict emotional betrayal, it shatters trust. When the very people we counted on to protect and cherish us betray our trust, it shatters our belief in the sincerity of support, making it conditional at best.  This kind of toxicity often shapes one's adult life, making it hard to believe in others' genuine loving support.

Shame

Shame engulfs many survivors, depending on the nature of their trauma. Survivors beaten, verbally or sexually abused or trafficked by a primary caregiver can misinterpret this abuse as their own fault. Carrying this shame into adulthood can magnify these feelings, making them feel 'unworthy' of healing, love, and protection. OPS wants to reassure you all: The shame is not yours. The fault lies with the abuser.

Trauma Bonds

Characteristics of traumatic bonding – which includes intermittent positive and negative reinforcement – can harbor a deep, toxic bond between the abuser and the survivor. The interchange of abuse and 'kindness' can foster a dangerously strong bond between the abuser and the survivor, often nurturing a false hope for better days.  In OPS, we strive to break those bonds, offering a supportive space for healing and understanding.

The Stranglehold of Learned Helplessness

A term coined by Martin Seligman, learned helplessness refers to the condition where individuals stop trying to escape from their negative situation. Instead of inability, it's the ingrained belief of helplessness that restrains survivors, leading them to accept abuse as their unchangeable reality.

Repeating Past Patterns

Survivors often fall in sync with what feels familiar, even if it's an unhealthy relationship. When toxicity is a familiar landscape, healthy bonds may appear alien and discomforting. At OPS, we believe there is a life beyond the known. Healthy relationships shouldn't be feared but embraced, and toxicity shouldn't be the 'normal' pursuit.

Unraveling the Journey to Healing

OPS offers a compassionate and understanding space to process your traumas, free from judgment. Our strong, survivor-focused community is committed to the healing and recovery process, holding an unwavering belief that everyone can reach a place of safety and empowerment.

Remember, every voice matters in combating commercial sexual exploitation. We honor your strength and resilience for joining us in shedding light on these issues, in the pursuit of a supportive, empathetic world free from gender-based violence and sexual exploitation. Because at OPS, survivors aren't just heard; they're seen, understood, and empowered.

Listening to Your Body: Nurturing Wellness after Surviving CSE

Our bodies have a remarkable way of communicating with us, providing valuable information about our overall health. Each day, the symptoms we experience act as signals, offering insights into our emotional and physical well-being. However, as survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE) and sexual assault (SA), many of us are familiar with the disconnection from our bodies and the signals they send.

In this blog post, we want to explore the importance of reconnecting with our bodies and actively listening to the cues they provide. By acknowledging and responding to these signals, we can empower ourselves to better understand our emotional and physical needs, facilitating the healing journey and promoting overall wellness.

The Power of Pain as a Warning Light

Pain serves as a potent warning light from our bodies, conveying a range of messages. It may indicate a strained muscle, a need for immediate medical attention, or even an emotional response resulting from trauma. However, when we have shut off our emotions due to pain or trauma, we can lose touch with our ability to recognize what we need both emotionally and physically.

Emotional and Physical Signals: Cues to Act

Rebuilding that connection with our bodies starts with focusing on the signals they send us and developing an awareness of their cues. These signals can manifest in various ways and encompass both emotional and physical indicators.

For instance:

Emotional: "I am feeling worried and a little agitated."

Physical: "My heart is beating fast, and my shoulders feel tense."

By recognizing the correlations between these signals, we gain insight into the experiences we are going through. In the example mentioned above, the signals may indicate some level of anxiety.

Taking Action: Empowering Self-Care

Effectively managing our symptoms is pivotal to fostering a sense of well-being. Consequently, the next step is to initiate open conversations with the staff here at OPS. Together, we can create personalized plans outlining actionable steps to take when we notice these signals. By addressing them early on, we can prevent symptoms from accumulating and becoming overwhelming.

Here are some examples of empowering self-care techniques to consider:

1.     Managing Worries: In times of worry, try writing down any negative thoughts you may be experiencing and then reframe them into more positive thoughts. This exercise can help shift your perspective and promote a sense of emotional balance.

2.     Physical Movement: If you notice tension in your muscles, reaching out to a friend for a walk can do wonders. Engaging in physical activities not only increases blood circulation and oxygen flow but also provides an opportunity for meaningful connection and quality time with loved ones.

3.     Engaging in Exercise: Incorporating regular physical activity into your routine can play a crucial role in preventing symptoms from escalating. Whether it's taking brisk walks a few times a week or participating in enjoyable physical activities, find what makes you feel good and prioritize it.

4.     Creating a Support Network: Collaborate with your treatment team to develop a step-by-step plan for seeking support when symptoms arise. Involving friends or family members who can be relied upon and compiling a list of relevant contact numbers can provide added reassurance during challenging times.

5.     Keeping a Journal: Maintaining a daily journal can be a valuable tool for self-reflection. Document how you're feeling, your eating habits, and the quality of your sleep. This practice can help you stay attuned to your body's needs.

6.     Self-Advocacy: Remember to advocate for yourself by prioritizing both your mental and physical health.

Honoring Your Body and Nurturing Wellness

Even though tuning in to our bodies can sometimes feel challenging, cultivating this habit is invaluable on our healing journeys. Listening to our bodies means mindfully acknowledging our regular state of being and being attuned to when things feel different. It is important to note that this practice does not necessarily translate into seeking medical attention for every minor discomfort unless directed to do so by your healthcare provider.

At OPS, we understand the significance of reclaiming agency over your body and personal well-being. If you are looking for additional support on this transformative journey, we invite you to join our Movement & Mindfulness Class, held every Tuesday from 1pm-2pm. This safe and inclusive space offers opportunities for connection, growth, and empowerment.

Remember, your body is resilient, and you have the power to nurture your wellness. By actively listening to your body, recognizing its signals, and taking proactive steps towards self-care, you are not only honoring your experiences but also building a foundation for healing and long-term well-being.

Empowering Survivors: Setting Boundaries for Healing and Autonomy

Dear survivor,

Navigating life after trauma can leave us feeling adrift without the guideposts of healthy boundaries. But within you lies the power to reclaim control over your life and well-being.

Boundaries, like gentle stop signs along your journey, play a crucial role in safeguarding your mental and emotional health. It's essential to recognize that where you draw these lines and define what crosses them is deeply personal, influenced by your beliefs, values, and cultural background.

As you embark on the journey of setting healthy boundaries, here are some empowering tips to guide you along the way:

Goal-Setting: Take a moment to reflect on the purpose behind each boundary. By clarifying your intentions, you empower yourself to assert your needs confidently.

Start Small: Setting boundaries can feel daunting. Remember, progress is a step-by-step process. Begin with one boundary, focusing on it before moving to others.

Be Clear: Effective communication is key. Articulate your needs honestly and assertively, expressing what you deserve in a clear manner.

Practice, Practice, Practice: If the idea of setting boundaries feels overwhelming, remember that you are not alone. Consider rehearsing what you want to say or practicing in front of a mirror to build confidence in expressing your truth.

Keep it Simple: Remember, simplicity is key in boundary setting. Focus on addressing the main issue bothering you directly without overloading others with unnecessary details.

Remember, survivor, setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-care, self-respect, and empowerment.

Learning to say no after trauma can feel like stepping on someone's toes without stopping to apologize. In other words, it can feel harsh, cruel, rude, and downright awful to set a boundary or put your needs first. During experiences of sexual assault and commercial sexual exploitation, we may learn that our bodies are not our own, which makes saying no after trauma very difficult.

It's okay — and necessary — to prioritize your own needs and safety.

The Importance of Learning to Say No After Trauma

Learning to say no after enduring trauma, especially abuse of any sort, is a crucial part of healing and protecting yourself. The recurrence of the same trauma on a particular individual, known as (re)victimization, is a common outcome of abuse. Survivors of assault may be able to address these wounds and say no in such situations with therapy.

Learning to Say No After Trauma

Work on setting boundaries in various aspects of your life, from your career to your relationships.

Even though it's uncomfortable, learning to say no can be empowering. Additionally, it can help you find the right support system. If someone doesn't respect your boundaries, you quickly discover they aren't for you.

By continuing to honor yourself and your own needs, you are building the strength to stand your ground and have your own back. Consistency is key, and the more you ask yourself, "What do I need right now?" the more you learn about and respect yourself.

If you find yourself needing support or guidance on this journey, OPS stands ready to accompany you. Our comprehensive services are designed to uplift and empower survivors just like you. Share this post to spread awareness and support others on their path to setting boundaries and reclaiming their voice.

Together, we can create a world where every survivor's boundaries are respected, honored, and cherished. You are not alone in this journey toward healing and empowerment.

With care and solidarity,

The Organization for Prostitution Survivors

Embracing Inner Child Healing Through Play: A Guide for Survivors of CSE

Welcome to a journey of self-discovery and healing through the power of play. At the Organization for Prostitution Survivors (OPS), we understand the importance of nurturing your inner child to promote healing, resilience, and empowerment. Letting your inner child come out to play is not only enjoyable but also a crucial step in reducing stress, increasing creativity, and fostering a sense of connection with yourself and others.

As survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE), the path to healing can be profound and challenging. Engaging in inner child play can help you reconnect with parts of yourself that may have been overshadowed by trauma. By tapping into your inner child's joy, curiosity, and creativity, you can embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing.

Understanding Inner Child Work

Inner child play is a fundamental aspect of inner child work, a practice that acknowledges and addresses unresolved pain from childhood experiences. As adults, we carry within us an inner child that may have experienced fear, sadness, or shame. Through inner child work, we can provide the care, love, and attention needed to help that inner child heal and integrate into our adult selves.

By revisiting our childhood experiences, identifying what was lacking, and embracing activities that promote play and imagination, we can start to heal the wounds of the past and cultivate a sense of wholeness in the present.

Benefits of Inner Child Play

The benefits of inner child play are manifold. Engaging in playful activities can help increase self-awareness, bring joy, reduce anxiety, instill a sense of freedom and safety, and inspire a desire to prioritize play in your life. By reconnecting with your inner child, you can tap into a wellspring of creativity, vitality, and resilience.

Ways to Integrate Inner Child Play into Your Life

Inner child play comes in various forms, from simple activities like dancing, singing, and drawing to more immersive experiences like painting, exploring nature, or engaging in outdoor adventures. The key is to engage in activities that bring you joy, evoke nostalgia, and allow you to tap into your inner child's sense of wonder and curiosity.

Making Time for Inner Child Play

As adults with busy schedules and responsibilities, finding time for inner child play can be challenging. However, incorporating playful activities into your daily routine is essential for nurturing your inner child and promoting healing. Scheduling time for play, whether it's dancing during chores, painting with loved ones, or having impromptu dance parties, can help you infuse joy and spontaneity into your life.

Remember, inner child play is not about perfection or productivity—it's about embracing the present moment, tapping into your creativity, and finding joy in the simple pleasures of life. By allowing your inner child to come out and play, you can embark on a journey of healing, self-discovery, and empowerment.

At OPS, we stand with you on your path to healing and recovery. Remember, your inner child is a precious part of who you are, deserving of love, care, and play. Embrace the joy of play, and let your inner child guide you towards a brighter, more resilient future.

Together, we heal. Together, we thrive. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is in need of support, please reach out to OPS for compassionate and survivor-centered services. We are here to empower you on your journey towards healing and wholeness.

Reflecting and Reforming: A New Narrative for Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April marks Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), a month dedicated to unifying advocates, survivors, their allies, and communities in the discourse on sexual violence.

It's a time where we fill the gaps in understanding, strengthen our solidarity with survivors, and pinpoint the means to avert sexual violence.

Grounded at the center of these efforts is the task of rewriting the narrative of sexual assault, a critical mission that calls for our shared courage and commitment.

New Conversations: Centering the Survivor's Wisdom

Prompting lasting changes requires us to unearth and dismantle the stigma cloaking sexual assault. We confront deep-rooted beliefs and confess that those inflicting sexual violence aren't just shadowy figures barely visible on society's fringe. They could be people within our seemingly trusted circles - friends, partners, esteemed community members.

The scope of sexual violence is broad, covering acts that, while not fueled by malicious intent, etches profound marks on survivors.

Situations where consent is obscured, forced, or disregarded need to break free from the shadows and into open dialogues - safe spaces free from disbelief or dismissal.

Learning, Not Solely Punishing

Changing the narrative also means recognizing that punitive measures alone cannot fully address the roots of sexual violence. While accountability is crucial, education and constructive dialogue play essential roles in fostering understanding and remediation.

This entails crafting an environment where every act of sexual misconduct is recognized, addressed, and where those at risk of committing such actions are taught to grasp the tremendous weight of consent and respect in every interaction.

It's a path where we can actively involve individuals in personal growth and learning, with the objective of preventing future harm and fostering healthier, respectful relationships.

Rewriting the Narrative: Actions for Change

The process of redefining the narrative can begin with seemingly small, but considerably potent actions - voicing our opposition to sexual harassment when detected, shunning language that objectifies or demeans and utilizing every opportunity to discuss consent and respect.

To address and prevent sexual violence, we need to battle its presence within educational institutions and advocate for a comprehensive education focusing on respect and informed consent from a young age.

Similarly, institutions should embrace zero-tolerance policies towards violence against women, unequivocally reflecting our collective stance that no form of violence will find refuge within our societies.

Looking Ahead

As we observe SAAM, let our commitment extend beyond merely extending our support to survivors and amplifying their voices. Let us actively participate in reconstructing the societal narratives surrounding sexual violence.

By introspecting our beliefs, challenging detrimental stereotypes, and opening ourselves to constructive paths of change, we can contribute to a world where sexual violence encounters the full might of our shared refusal to accept it.

Together, we can rewrite the narrative. Together, we can shape a difference. No matter how long the road or challenging the journey, the shared power of our voices and actions will guide us towards a safer, more respectful society that firmly stands by survivors. Remember, you are not alone - we are with you, for you. Stay strong, keep fighting.

Exploring Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) in the Context of Commercial Sexual Exploitation (CSE)

Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is a complex issue that demands our awareness and understanding. Defined as damage to the brain caused by external physical force, TBIs can have lasting impacts on individuals' lives. While the causes of TBIs vary, it's crucial to acknowledge how incidents of trauma, particularly within the realm of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE), can lead to TBI.

In the context of CSE, individuals may experience TBI due to physical violence inflicted by perpetrators. Acts such as aggressive shaking, strangulation, blows to the head, and falls can result in traumatic brain injuries. These injuries often go unrecognized and untreated, leading to a cycle of revictimization and potential long-term neurological damage.

It's disheartening to note that many survivors who experience TBI may not even be aware of their condition. Symptoms of TBI, such as cognitive impairments, memory issues, and behavioral challenges, can be misattributed to mental health issues, delaying proper diagnosis and appropriate care.

Understanding the signs and symptoms of TBI is crucial for survivors and their allies. If you or someone you know has experienced any form of trauma that may have led to a TBI, seeking help from a qualified medical professional is paramount. Early detection and intervention can significantly impact recovery and long-term outcomes.

Survivors of CSE who have experienced TBI may face a myriad of challenges, from cognitive impairments to difficulties in social interactions and emotional regulation. However, it's essential to remember that there are strategies to manage these challenges and promote healing and well-being.

Common Challenges Related to Brain Injury and Ideas to Help You Manage Them

Nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, or withdrawal

• Focus on your breath and practice calming techniques.

• Engage in activities you enjoy to distract yourself from distressing thoughts.

• Seek support from trusted individuals, such as friends, family, or counselors.

Trouble remembering things, planning, or organizing

• Use organizational tools like planners and apps to stay on top of tasks.

• Establish routines and habits to assist in memory retention.

• Break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Sensitivity to light or sound, or vision problems

• Adjust your environment to reduce exposure to triggers like bright lights or loud noises.

• Consult an eye doctor if vision problems persist.

• Take breaks and create a calm, quiet workspace to minimize distractions.

Difficulty understanding information, problem-solving, or concentrating

• Communicate your needs for slower-speaking individuals.

• Break tasks into smaller, more manageable segments.

• Focus on one task at a time to enhance concentration and problem-solving abilities.

By acknowledging the intersection of trauma, TBI, and commercial sexual exploitation, we can work towards creating a more informed and supportive environment for survivors. Together, we can empower individuals to seek help, heal, and thrive beyond their past experiences.

IMT and the Path to Healing Addiction

Embracing the Power of Integrated Movement Therapy (IMT)

Integrated Movement Therapy (IMT) is a holistic approach to yoga therapy that goes beyond addressing symptoms and behaviors that may hinder your healing and recovery. It encompasses a wide range of activities, including movements, breath practices, mindfulness, art, yoga postures, and yoga philosophy, all aimed at cultivating wholeness, well-being, and transformation. At OPS, we understand that addiction can be a deeply rooted coping mechanism, and that's why IMT holds incredible potential for those seeking recovery. Let's dive deeper into how IMT can support you on your journey to healing and freedom.

A Mind-Body Approach: Honoring Your Expertise

IMT recognizes that you, as the participant, are the expert of your own experience. It embraces a mind-body approach, acknowledging the intricate connection between our mental and physical health. Trauma, addiction, anxiety, and depression can intertwine, impacting every aspect of our lives. IMT seeks to address the unique challenges faced by individuals with these histories, fostering a safe and supportive environment where change can happen.

Meet Martha: Your Companion on the Healing Journey

Led by Martha, our certified Integrated Movement Therapist, Substance Use Disorder Counselor, poet, and artist, our movement and mindfulness group sessions provide a nurturing space for exploration and growth. Every Tuesday, we gather to embark on an empowering session where you are invited to check in with yourself, connecting with your deepest needs in the present moment. Through guided movement exercises and conscious breathwork, we ground ourselves, quiet the mind, and nurture a sense of stability and peace.

Discovering Solace and Resilience

By cultivating a strong connection with our bodies, IMT offers solace and strength, especially for those dealing with anxiety, triggers, or panic attacks. Our Movement & Mindfulness sessions calm the nervous system while equipping you with valuable self-soothing techniques. These skills become indispensable tools as you navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience. Together, we explore the power of interconnectedness and embodiment, unlocking your inner strength to radiate healing and inner calm in every aspect of your life.

Join our Mindfulness and Movement Group

We invite you to join us every Tuesday from 1-2 pm at OPS, located at 112 SW 157th St, Burien, WA, 98166. Together, we will create a nurturing community where healing and transformation are embraced. Our Mindfulness and Movement Group is just one of the many comprehensive services and support systems we offer to guide you on your journey towards well-being and recovery.

Your Healing Matters: Together, We Thrive

At OPS, we are committed to providing comprehensive services and support tailored to your unique needs and experiences. We understand the impact of trauma and addiction and are dedicated to creating a world where empowerment and resilience flourish. Visit our website or reach out to us to learn more about our mindfulness and movement group and other programs designed to support your healing. Remember, you are never alone. Your journey towards healing matters, and together, we can create a brighter, hope-filled future.

Introducing the New Youth Drop-In Day: Empowering Youth for Positive Change

Are you a young individual between the ages of 11 and 24, looking for a safe and supportive space to explore your needs and goals? We have exciting news for you! Starting March 20th, 2024, we are thrilled to introduce our Youth Drop-In Day at the OPS Drop In Center in Burien.

Every Wednesday from 1-6 PM will be dedicated to providing a wide range of services tailored to meet the unique needs of youth in our community.

Your Wellbeing, Our Priority

At Youth Drop-In Day, we are committed to supporting you in every aspect of your life. Here's an overview of the services and support we offer:

Advocacy

We advocate for your rights and ensure that your voice is heard and respected.

Youth Support Group

Connect with fellow peers and share your experiences in a safe and non-judgmental environment.

Holistic Healing

Experience holistic approaches to healing and wellbeing, including mindfulness, meditation, and spending time outdoors.

Education and Employment Support

Receive guidance and support to thrive academically and access resources for future employment opportunities.

Medical/Naturopathic Consults

Access medical and naturopathic consultations to address your healthcare needs.

Basic Needs Support

We provide assistance with clothing, food, and other essential needs to ensure your well-being is taken care of.

Community Meals and Cooking Classes

Join us for community meals and cooking classes, where you can connect with others and learn valuable life skills.

Life Skills Empowerment

Empower yourself with essential life skills to navigate the challenges of adulthood and reach your full potential.

Plus, many more services and resources to help you grow and thrive!

Understanding ACEs and Healing

We recognize that adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can have a lasting impact on our lives. That's why we approach trauma-informed care with compassion and knowledge. Here's how we can support you in healing:

Mindfulness and Meditation

Learn and practice techniques to stay present, cultivate self-awareness, and manage stress.

Building Relationships

Improve your relationships with others and foster healthy connections that contribute to your overall well-being.

Creating Safe Spaces

We understand that everyone's journey is unique, and we provide a safe space where you can be yourself, express your emotions, and find support.

Empowering Emotional Regulation and Communication

Develop the skills to understand and regulate your emotions, improve your responses to situations, and become an effective communicator.

Setting Boundaries and Building Trust

We believe that setting boundaries is essential for healthy relationships, and we consistently show up for you to build trust and create a safe environment.

Healing the Inner Child

We encourage you to embrace joy and playfulness as part of your healing process. Engage in activities like coloring, dancing, walking, singing, and more!

It's Never Too Late to Change

No matter what you've been through, remember that it's never too late to heal from CSEC and create a positive change in your life. We are here to support you on your journey.

For more information about the Youth Drop-In Day and the services we provide, email us! We look forward to welcoming you and empowering you on your path of growth and transformation.

Discover Healing and Inner Calm with Integrated Movement Therapy

Welcome to the empowering world of Integrated Movement Therapy (IMT) - a transformative method that invites you to embark on a journey of healing and inner calm. At the Organization for Prostitution Survivors (OPS), we are committed to your well-being and providing comprehensive therapeutic modalities that support your recovery and empowerment. Join our mindfulness and movement group every Tuesday as we explore the healing power of IMT and create a space where positive change can flourish.

What is IMT?
Integrated Movement Therapy is a holistic yoga therapy that embraces a wide range of activities to address symptoms, default behaviors, and patterns that may hinder your healing and recovery. Through movements, breath practices, mindfulness, art, yoga postures, and yoga philosophy, IMT cultivates a sense of wholeness, well-being, and transformation. It is a partnership between therapist and student, creating an internal and external space where change can happen. Within this safe and supportive environment, we bring together practices that can be integrated into your daily life, regardless of the challenges you may face. IMT has proven to be particularly beneficial for individuals with histories of trauma, addiction, anxiety, and depression - all of which impact our mental and physical health. This mind-body approach lies at the heart of IMT, acknowledging that you, as the participant, are the expert of your own experience. Our IMT therapist, Martha is here to support and witness your healing journey.

Let's Take the Journey Together:
Led by Martha, our certified Integrated Movement Therapist, Substance Use Disorder Counselor, poet, and artist, our movement and mindfulness group sessions provide a nurturing space for exploration and growth. Join us every Tuesday for an empowering session where we take the time to check in with ourselves, asking what we truly need in this present moment. Through guided movement exercises and conscious breathwork, we ground ourselves, quiet the mind, and foster a sense of stability and peace. By staying connected to our bodies, we find solace and strength, especially for those dealing with anxiety, triggers, or panic attacks. Our Movement & Mindfulness sessions not only calm our nervous systems but also teach valuable skills for self-soothing, equipping you with the tools to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience.

Join our Mindfulness and Movement Group:
We invite you to join us every Tuesday from 1-2 pm during our drop-in hours at OPS, located at 112 SW 157th St, Burien, WA, 98166. Together, we will create a nurturing community where healing and transformation are embraced. It's time to discover the power of Integrated Movement Therapy and unlock your inner strength, finding healing and inner calm that will radiate through every aspect of your life.

At OPS, we are here for you, providing comprehensive services and support on your journey towards healing. Visit our website or reach out to us for more information on our mindfulness and movement group and other programs dedicated to your well-being. Your healing matters, and together we can create a world where empowerment and resilience thrive.

Hyper Criminalization and Hyper Sexualization of Black Women in CSE

In a world that often silences the voices of black women and girls, we must shine a light on the intersecting challenges they face: hyper criminalization and hyper sexualization. Research conducted by the Center on Poverty and Inequality reveals a truth that deeply troubles us – black girls are all too frequently stripped of their innocence, seen as more adult-like, burdened with unjust stereotypes that perpetuate harmful narratives.

The historical injustices rooted in the era of slavery continue to shape today's unjust treatment of black girls and women. The painful legacy of systemic abuse and exploitation of black female bodies has left lasting scars, leading to their hypersexualization and the perpetuation of damaging racial stereotypes that label them as "bad girls."

These stereotypes not only fuel misconceptions within society but also hinder efforts to identify victims of trafficking. Black women involved in the sex trade often face the assumption that they have willingly chosen their circumstances, disregarding the harsh realities of trafficking that many endure. This dangerous misconception, combined with implicit biases in law enforcement and society, creates formidable barriers in recognizing and supporting victims of exploitation.

Furthermore, historical oppression and embedded systemic racism present additional challenges for black females who face a disproportionately higher risk of human trafficking. The echoes of the transatlantic slave trade resonate in the normalization of sexual abuse against black girls and women, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and resulting in differential treatment within education and the justice system.

Discovering that black girls are viewed through a distorted lens of adulthood in our present day is disheartening. Their innocence is too often stripped away, and they are denied the protection that their white counterparts receive. This sobering reality underscores the urgency with which we must address the deep-rooted biases that shape our perception and response to the vulnerabilities of black girls in our society.

As we move forward, our shared journey toward healing and empowerment necessitates ongoing learning and attentive listening. By acknowledging and dismantling the historical patterns of discrimination and exploitation, we take vital strides toward cultivating a more just and inclusive society for all.

If you are a black survivor who is struggling to change their narrative, we recommend attending our Zoom Wednesday Black Survivor Queen’s Journey Support Group. Join us on Zoom from 5-6pm as we inspire, uplift, and reclaim our power. Together, we will rewrite the narratives that shape our lives and create a future filled with strength and resilience.

Together, we can rewrite the narrative, amplify the voices of black women and girls, and build a future where their innocence is safeguarded, their vulnerabilities met with compassion, and where empowerment paves the way for a brighter and more equitable tomorrow.

Racism in CSE (Commercial Sexual Exploitation)

Commercial Sexual Exploitation (CSE) perpetuates gender-based violence, leaving lasting trauma for millions of individuals around the world. This system thrives on exploiting vulnerable people, with minority women being particularly targeted by traffickers for financial gain.

However, the struggles faced by people of color are often pushed under the radar, resulting in the invisibility of black and minority lives due to the segregation of cities, over-policing, and both overt and implicit racism.

In this blog post, we will delve into the disproportionate impact of human trafficking on minority women and explore the systemic connection between racism and CSE. Highlighting the criminalization of sex trafficking victims, the over-representation of minority women and girls in the sex trade, and the lasting systemic injustices, we aim to bring attention to the urgent need for change.

The Intersectionality in CSE:

When discussing Commercial Sexual Exploitation (CSE), it's essential to recognize the intersectionality of race and gender. Black and minority women are at an even greater disadvantage due to their gender, race, class, sexual orientation, physical ability, and more. This is known as intersectionality. At OPS, we understand that everyone has their own unique experiences of discrimination and oppression. At OPS, we understand that everyone has their own unique experiences of discrimination and oppression. That's why we acknowledge intersectionality. Focusing on intersectionality allows us to better address the systemic injustices that contribute to the exploitation of vulnerable individuals and prioritize the needs and experiences of survivors.

Statistics reveal the disproportionate impact of commercial sexual exploitation on minority women and girls. According to a comprehensive review of suspected human trafficking incidents in the US over a two-year period, 40% of sex trafficking victims are black, and 24% are Latinx. Disturbingly, black children account for nearly 53% of all juvenile prostitution arrests, with black and minority girls bearing the brunt of the criminalization in the sex trade.

The Link Between Racism and CSE:

The vulnerability of minority women to trafficking is closely tied to their socioeconomic status. The Congressional Black Caucus Foundation highlights the significant role that socioeconomic differences play in increasing the vulnerability of minority women to exploitation. Historical wealth gaps persist, with the average white household having ten times more wealth than the average black household. These past inequalities continue to fuel the unequal treatment seen in the present.

Traffickers specifically target women of color with lower socioeconomic status due to these systemic differences. Adding to this injustice, the American penal system disproportionately targets people of color, leading to a majority of women incriminated for sex trafficking being black. Reports demonstrate that 57.5% of all juvenile prostitution arrests are black children, while the buyers often escape severe consequences.

The abuse-to-prison pipeline further contributes to the over-representation of minority women in the sex trade. Instead of receiving psychological support, women of color who respond to abuse by running away, substance abuse, or truancy in school, are often criminalized. The lack of adequate treatment and social support drives women further into the cycle of exploitation. Following release from prison, the limitations imposed by a criminal record restrict access to employment, housing, and social benefits, leaving them vulnerable and potentially homeless.

Harmful stereotypes surrounding the sexuality and promiscuity of black girls and women also contribute to their exoticization and exploitation. The hyper-sexualization and hyper-criminalization of black girls and women create a damaging cycle where innocence is denied, and exploitation is perpetuated.

Moving Towards Change:

The human cost of trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation is immeasurable, impacting survivors' mental health, limiting their future prospects, and hindering their recovery from trauma. Systemic racism and a long history of oppression have made people of color, specifically women and girls, prime targets for human trafficking.

It is crucial that organizations and entities working with victims examine their biases and prejudices, actively dismantling systemic injustices. Policymakers, public officials, and society as a whole must prioritize dismantling racism and gender-based disadvantages to effectively combat the exploitation of minority women and girls.

At the Organization for Prostitution Survivors (OPS), we are committed to supporting survivors of commercial sexual exploitation through comprehensive services focused on healing, recovery, and empowerment. Through trauma-informed care, counseling, legal support, educational assistance, and community resources, we aim to foster hope, resilience, and a sense of community.

By acknowledging and addressing the intersectionality of race and gender, we can work toward ending gender-based violence, fostering equality, and creating a society where all individuals are afforded the opportunity to heal, thrive, and reclaim their lives.

If you or someone you know is a survivor of commercial sexual exploitation, OPS is here to support you. Reach out to us for compassionate, survivor-focused assistance on your journey towards healing and empowerment. Together, we can create a future free from the bonds of exploitation and rooted in equity and justice.

The Healing Power of Safe Touch for CSE Survivors

Nurturing the Body, Restoring Trust, and Empowering Survivor Resilience

For survivors of CSE, touch can be an incredibly complex and challenging aspect of their journey towards healing. The deep-rooted trauma from past experiences can manifest as an overwhelming fear that touch is dangerous, causing survivors to instinctively flinch, withdraw, or recoil from physical contact, even when the longing for safe and nurturing touch remains.

At the Organization for Prostitution Survivors (OPS), we understand these intricacies and offer a powerful tool for healing: "safe touch."

Our Movement & Mindfulness sessions creates a space where survivors can explore safe touch in a supportive and empowering environment. We provide "consent cards" during our group sessions, allowing participants to decide whether they prefer hands-on or no physical contact from the guide. This option has proven to be particularly beneficial for survivors who have endured coercive or manipulative touch in the past.

Within these sessions, trauma survivors have the opportunity to gradually reacquaint themselves with touch and rebuild trust in their bodies. The experiences can be truly transformative, offering opportunities for survivors to create new and positive memories, ultimately overriding the negative experiences of their past.

One courageous participant shared her poignant journey towards healing through safe touch. Having battled the trauma of "unsafe manipulative non-consensual touch" since her childhood, as a survivor of ritual abuse, she found immense healing through working with safe touch. Today, she attests to the possibility of experiencing touch in a positive and affirming way.

At OPS, we firmly believe in the power of Integrated Movement Therapy (IMT) to forge positive, long-lasting changes in both the body and mind. Through guided movement exercises and breathwork, we help survivors ground themselves and foster inner peace, creating stability that proves invaluable for those dealing with anxiety, triggers, or panic attacks.

We understand the unique challenges that touch can present for survivors of trauma. Therefore, by offering safe touch options within our programs, we provide survivors with the opportunity to develop new, empowering memories and experiences that contribute significantly to their ongoing healing and recovery.

Join us at OPS for our enriching Movement & Mindfulness sessions, held at 112 SW 157th St, Burien, WA, 98166. Every Tuesday from 1-2 pm, we welcome survivors of commercial sexual exploitation with open arms, offering drop-in hours designed to nurture healing and empowerment.

At OPS, we wholeheartedly believe in the resilience of survivors and are dedicated to ending all forms of gender-based violence. Together, we can create a future where safe touch is a reality for all survivors, where healing and recovery flourish, and where empowerment and resilience triumph over trauma.

Understanding Triggers & Learning How to Self-Soothe: Navigating Trauma in Intimate Relationships

Triggers can affect survivors of trauma and commercial sexual exploitation in different ways, often leading to overwhelming emotions, physical symptoms, or intrusive thoughts. While triggers are a normal response to trauma, understanding them and developing healthy coping skills are crucial for survivors on their journey towards healing and recovery. In this blog post, we'll explore the concept of triggers, their impact on sexual intimacy, and strategies for self-soothing in moments of overwhelm.

Understanding Triggers:

Triggers are things that bring us back to the original trauma, evoking intense emotions, physical sensations, or intrusive thoughts. Survivors often struggle to differentiate between past trauma and present experiences, resulting in a similar emotional intensity. It's important to recognize that triggers are a normal response to trauma. What triggers one person may not trigger another, so it's essential to honor and respect each individual's triggers and reactions.

Navigating Triggers During Sexual Intimacy:

Sexual intimacy can be particularly challenging for survivors of commercial sexual exploitation and sexual abuse. Triggers during sex can bring the body back to a state of heightened fear or activate the fight, flight, or freeze response.

These triggers can become hard-wired to sexual responses due to past abuse, leading to experiences of disgust, pain, discomfort during sex, or terrifying flashbacks—even when the survivor is safe with a chosen partner in the present.

When triggers occur during sex, a survivor's body is unconsciously or consciously experiencing something that reminds them of a time when they did not feel safe. It's important to remember that the body is not trying to harm the survivor; it's simply a way of communicating. Identifying triggers and using healthy coping skills to soothe the nervous system when they happen can be a valuable step towards healing.

The process of identifying and working through triggers is best done with a trauma-informed therapist. They can provide guidance and support throughout the journey towards understanding and managing triggers effectively.

Identifying Triggers in Your Surroundings:

Triggers can be found not only within ourselves but also in our surroundings. Reflecting on past experiences can help identify certain aspects of our environment that resemble the location or circumstances of our trauma. Changing elements like lighting, smells, colors, and temperatures can help reduce triggers and provide a sense of control.

Understanding the Power of Touch:

Our perception of touch may change after trauma, and different types of touch can elicit various reactions based on past experiences. Identifying specific touches or areas of the body that trigger PTSD symptoms and communicating them with your partner is crucial. Remember that your experience of touch may fluctuate, and your partner's support and patience can help create a safe space for healing and growth.

Self-Soothing Strategies for When You Are Triggered:

Finding yourself triggered can be overwhelming, but you have the power to self-soothe and regain a sense of calm. Here are some strategies to help navigate those overwhelming moments:

1.     Breathe: Practice deep breathing exercises to bring a sense of calm and relaxation.

2.     Check-In with Your Senses: Focus on your surroundings and engage your senses to redirect attention from overwhelming emotions.

3.     Ground Yourself: Perform body scans or grounding exercises to reconnect with your body and create stability.

Healthy Relationships for Trauma Survivors:

Healthy relationships based on love, compassion, and caring can be transformative for trauma survivors. These relationships provide an opportunity to learn positive ways to experience sexual pleasure, desire, and consent. Safety, secure attachment, and open communication with a partner who understands your trauma history are key. Voicing your needs, describing what makes you feel safe, and addressing potential triggers strengthen the bond with your partner.

Remember, emotional shut down is a protective measure we use to cope when we feel overwhelmed. If you find yourself experiencing emotional shut down in relationships, here are a few things you can do:

• Let your partner know what's happening for you.

• Pay attention to the feelings in your body.

• Practice deep breathing and grounding exercises.

• Seek support from a therapist to explore any past triggers that may be affecting your emotional responses.

Navigating triggers and learning how to self-soothe is an ongoing journey for survivors of commercial sexual exploitation and trauma. It's a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and support from trusted allies. Remember that healing takes time, and seeking professional assistance, such as trauma-informed therapy, can provide the guidance needed. With self-care, healthy relationships, and self-soothing strategies, survivors can find hope, healing, and a future defined by healthy relationships, consensual intimacy, and resilience.

How To Disclose your CSE Trauma To A Partner

If you’ve experienced trauma while being in the commercial sex industry (CSE), you may find it difficult to open up to your partner about what happened. It's understandable to feel like you’re not ready to talk about it or that your partner won’t understand. However, it’s important to communicate with your partner about your experiences and how they’ve affected you.

Why It Is Difficult To Explain Trauma To A Partner

When you’ve experienced trauma in the CSE, it can be difficult to feel safe and trusting again. It can be hard to explain what you need from your partner in order to feel safe. One thing to remember is that your partner cannot “fix” you or take away your pain. It is important for them to understand that you are the only one who can heal from your trauma. Your partner needs to be patient and understand that it will take time for you to heal. They also need to be prepared for setbacks and triggering events.

You can also benefit from communicating what you need from your partner in order to feel safe. This may include things like physical space, emotional distance, or specific words and actions.

The Impact Of Trauma On Relationships

When it comes to talking about past traumas with a partner, it’s important to be honest and open. However, it’s also important to be aware of how your trauma may be impacting your relationship. Trauma can often lead to feelings of isolation, mistrust, and anxiety. It can be difficult to feel close to someone when you’re constantly on guard. If you’re finding it hard to connect with your partner, there are ways to work through these issues and methods of how to explain trauma to a partner. It’s important to communicate with your partner about your needs and expectations. If you’re feeling triggered or overwhelmed, let them know. It takes time and patience, but working through trauma together can make your relationship even stronger.

Should you tell someone about your trauma?

To decide if you should disclose, ask yourself these three questions:

1. Is your sexual trauma having a negative impact on your relationship? Is it limiting intimacy, making you avoid anything, or holding you back?

2. Is this relationship progressing important to you?

3. Do you trust this person?

If you answered yes to all, then perhaps some aspects of the trauma should be disclosed. Remember, the decision to disclose is one that makes you feel empowered and safe. You have the agency to decide how much or how little to share.

Choosing the right time

While there is no timetable on when you should share, there are a few "green flags" that might help you decide. Look for empathy in your partner, openness to conversations related to sexual assault without victim-blaming thoughts, and respect for your boundaries. Remember, you can stop at any time if you feel unsafe.

Tips for sharing

A few things you might like to consider when disclosing are setting boundaries, choosing the right time and place, and being honest. Establish your own boundaries before the conversation regarding what you are comfortable sharing and not sharing. Let the other person know what you expect from the conversation and choose a time and place where you feel safe and there are minimal distractions. You can tell them in a way that makes you feel comfortable, whether it's in person, over an email, over the phone, or in a text. Try to be honest and real about the impact trauma has had on you.

How To Start The Conversation

Now that we've covered some important points, let's dive into how to start the conversation. When sharing your story, it's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being.

Here are some ways to keep yourself safe while disclosing your trauma:

1. Talk about your triggers. Explain what sets off your memories and emotions related to the trauma. This will help your partner understand what may cause you distress and how they can support you.

2. Share whatever is comfortable for you. You don't have to share everything at once. Start with a more general description and see how your partner reacts. Take breaks if you start feeling dysregulated or if the response isn't what you hoped for.

3. Establish boundaries with yourself and your partner. Be mindful of what details you are willing to share and what may feel too much for you at that time. Consider your partner's boundaries as well if they also have their own history of sexual trauma.

4. Practice sharing your story. The more you tell your story, the easier it can become. Practice writing it down through journaling or talking in front of a mirror.

5. Take care of yourself after sharing. Consider what you need to feel safe and supported. Communicate your needs to your partner, whether it's a hug, alone time, or someone to talk to.

Remember, telling your story is your choice, and you have the power to decide how and when to share it. Trust your instincts and take care of yourself throughout the process. This is your story to tell as you please.

Building Emotional Intimacy as a Survivor of CSE

As a survivor of commercial sexual exploitation, building emotional intimacy in relationships can be challenging. Vulnerability is not something that may come easily after having experienced trauma. However, emotional intimacy is crucial to building deep connections with partners.

What is Intimacy?

Intimacy in a relationship is a feeling of being close, emotionally connected, and supported. It involves being open, vulnerable, and sharing a range of thoughts, feelings, and experiences with someone you love. However, as survivors of commercial sexual exploitation (CSE), building emotional intimacy can be challenging, as vulnerability is not something we're used to in our past experiences. It’s important to understand what emotional intimacy is and how to build it, even if it takes some practice.

First, it’s important to recognize that emotional intimacy is not just about physical acts, like holding hands or cuddling. Rather, it’s about creating a deep connection with a partner by sharing feelings, vulnerabilities and building trust. Emotional intimacy provides a sense of security within a relationship and enables individuals to be themselves, without the fear of rejection.

Without this intimacy, a relationship may suffer and make it difficult to feel connected to one another and can lead to feelings of isolation or loneliness. It's crucial to prioritize emotional intimacy in any partnership to foster growth, connection, and long-term satisfaction.

Here are four immediate ways survivors of CSE can improve emotional intimacy in their relationships:

1. Be Strategically Vulnerable to Earn their Trust

Breaking down personal walls and becoming vulnerable can be difficult, even in long-standing relationships. While you can't force your partner to become vulnerable, you can lead by example. Start small by sharing something that happened at work or expressing a feeling that's been challenging to share. By being strategically vulnerable, you create a safe space for your partner to reciprocate.

2. Give Daily Affirmations and Compliments

Expressing appreciation and affirmations on a daily basis helps you and your partner feel seen and cherished. Make it a habit to give specific compliments that highlight their positive qualities and actions. Letting your partner know how deeply you love them or appreciating their efforts can go a long way in nurturing emotional intimacy.

3. Communicate and Check-In

Effective communication is the foundation of emotional intimacy. Share your feelings, needs, and aspirations with your partner openly. Take the time to check in with each other regularly to maintain a sense of connection and understanding. By actively participating in conversation and actively listening to your partner, you can cultivate emotional intimacy. Make time for each other, even if it’s just five minutes to check in.

4. Create Opportunities for Intimacy

Carving out quality time to be together and focus on your relationship is essential. Find moments to engage in intimate activities such as washing each other's hair, cooking together, or even taking a nap together. Explore new activities and share your deepest fears, dreams, and aspirations with one another. Remember, intimacy extends beyond physical connection.

It's important to acknowledge that building intimacy can be challenging, especially for survivors of CSE. Past traumas, communication issues, conflicts, and practical concerns may hinder intimacy. Always be compassionate with yourself and your partner as you work together to overcome these barriers.

Building emotional intimacy takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. Celebrate the good things in your relationship, talk openly about your feelings and needs, and create opportunities for intimacy. Remember, both you and your partner should initiate opportunities for connection and growth.

By stepping out of your comfort zone, being vulnerable, and engaging in activities that foster trust and connection, you can develop a deeper emotional bond. Building intimacy is a journey, and it's important to give yourself permission to let go and embrace the curiosity that comes with exploring a deeper connection with your partner.

Even small moments, like washing each other's hair, cooking together, or holding hands while talking about your day, can contribute to building intimacy.

As a survivor of commercial sexual exploitation, building emotional intimacy in relationships may take extra effort, but it’s worth it. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you build trust and secure connections with a partner.

Remember that OPS is here to offer comprehensive services that promote healing, recovery and empowerment, for you and many others who have experienced trauma.

You have the power to build emotional intimacy, fostering healing, growth, and resilience in your relationships.

How to Build a Healthy Relationship with Yourself Every Day

Your relationship with yourself is one of the most important ones you'll ever have. Yet, those of us who have experienced commercial sexual exploitation (CSE) have often had to disconnect from ourselves in order to survive. As a result, our self-relationship may have become fragmented and toxic. But fear not, because there are ways to nurture it back into a healthy place.

Understanding Self-Relationship

A self-relationship is exactly what it sounds like—a relationship you have with yourself. It's how you view, understand, talk to, and respond to yourself and your needs. It encompasses your emotions, body, mindset, and behavior. It's at the core of how you treat yourself, whether with love, support, and compassion, or with criticism and disgust.

The Importance of a Healthy Self-Relationship

While the idea of a self-relationship may sound unusual, it plays a crucial role in all aspects of your life. Our self-relationship affects everything—from our self-esteem and relationships to our confidence and pursuit of goals.

A negative self-relationship can hold us back, preventing us from trying new things and achieving our full potential. On the other hand, a positive self-relationship can make us more resilient, improve our emotional well-being, and enhance our ability to connect with others.

Nurturing a Healthy Self-Relationship

Building a healthier relationship with yourself is possible. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Check-in with yourself

Take a moment to honestly assess how you feel and identify your emotions. If this feels unfamiliar, start by noticing the sensations in your body. Connecting with your physical experiences can be a gentle entry point into understanding your emotions.

2. Validate all your feelings

Validate your feelings by accepting them without judgment. This includes acknowledging and accepting unpleasant emotions such as anger and shame. Remember that even the most difficult parts of yourself are motivated by genuine human needs.

Validating your feelings will help you address the core needs behind them, leading to a greater understanding of yourself and self-collaboration for your overall well-being.

3. Set boundaries and say "no" when needed

Prioritize your needs by setting clear, fair boundaries with others. Whether it's declining social invitations when you need rest or stating your preferences, setting boundaries allows you to show up fully in your relationships, cultivate self-acceptance, and tend to your own needs.

4. Make time for self-care and activities you enjoy

Just like any other relationship, your relationship with yourself requires nurturing. Set aside specific time for self-care and activities that bring you joy, curiosity, and a sense of play. Treat yourself to a date or playdate, allowing yourself to fully embrace the pleasure of your own company.

5. Challenge the notion that self-care is selfish

We may have been conditioned to prioritize others over ourselves, but having a healthy self-relationship is not selfish. By taking care of your own needs and navigating internal struggles in healthier ways, you're better equipped to bring your strengths, such as compassion, to your interpersonal relationships.

6. Consider journaling

Journaling can be an excellent tool for understanding yourself better and building a relationship with yourself. Experiment with free writing or explore journal prompts to delve into your thoughts, emotions, and needs.

7. Practice positive affirmations

Challenge the negative narratives about yourself by practicing positive affirmations. Each day, name something you did well or something you're proud of. Focusing on your strengths enhances self-esteem and reinforces feelings of self-worth.

8. Seek support from a therapist

Remember that you don't have to navigate this journey alone. If you're struggling to improve your self-relationship, reach out to a therapist who can help you identify areas where you may be stuck. They can guide you towards a more compassionate and positive self-talk and support you in redefining your relationship with yourself.

Cultivating a Healthy Self-Relationship

Investing in your relationship with yourself is crucial for maintaining your mental health and fostering healthy interpersonal connections. It impacts every aspect of your life, including how you see yourself, how you communicate with yourself, and how you interact with others.

By practicing self-care, acknowledging and validating your feelings, and seeking support when needed, you can build a stronger, more empowering relationship with yourself. Remember, you are worthy of love, compassion, and a healthy relationship with yourself. At OPS, we believe in your resilience and are here to support you on your journey to healing and self-empowerment.