Interview with the Advocates
Interview with OPS Advocates
OPS advocates Rekina Perry, Chelsea Olsen, and SarahAnn Harris Hamilton talk about their work, the strength of survivors, what makes OPS different, and how they look out for themselves and others
Art by OPS participant AP
What do you want people to know about your work?
Chelsea:
There are so many barriers in the systems of trying to help the women that we service. A lot of times I feel like I’m coming up against a wall. That’s the part that is exhausting: constantly feeling like I’m fighting to get my clients’ basic needs met. It shouldn’t be that difficult, and that is frustrating. I think the cool part about OPS and the work we do is we get to be in this role with the women we serve for a lifetime (if they want it) and have these relationships that are built by really seeing each other. There are youth I’ve worked with since they were 15 and now they’re 21 — at OPS there is no age limit so I can continue with clients. Also there is no requirement or you need to do x-y-z in order for us to work with you. We really meet people where they are at, and I think that’s really powerful. There are no stipulations on us helping the clients that we serve. A lot of the work I do, I have to hold for my clients to realize their own journeys and realize their worth, and empower them in that. That means continuing to fight those systems even though some days it feels really hopeless. That’s what we are; we’re advocates advocating for our clients’ dreams and their feelings in a system that says they don’t matter.
Rekina:
The work we do is not just a quick fix. It’s not like regular social service agencies where people come, get benefits, and leave. It’s an ongoing, continuing service where we meet people where they are. It’s not like a regular social service agency. People don’t come in the door, get services, and leave. Sometimes it takes years to get people in a place where they can be self-sufficient, empowered, and move on to another stage of their life. I’m speaking from experience and from my work, being an advocate over the last year. I have many participants who are very much still in the middle of their process and need continuing services to help them get to a place of self-sufficiency. This is important to highlight because the more people we get to understand that, the better we are able to address the needs of our participants in a well-rounded way. The fact that we work with survivors, it is very difficult to get them in through the county ways of entering services, like housing and all of these things. They score based on how many resources a person already takes advantage of, which really doesn’t say anything about the kind of help that they need. The fact that people are accessing services does not mean they are in any way ready to do this on their own. If they access services their score drops, which is ridiculous. The level of organizational trauma is such that by the time they get to us that we sometimes have to work 10x harder to build trust. They’ve been turned away from so many organizations based on what they’ve done to survive. We have to prove our own commitment in order to accompany them. Some of the smallest things, like helping someone with a gas card, it basically kept them from going out and busting a date, from giving their soul to one more person. The level of organizational trauma they have when they’ve come to us, and hearing ‘no, no, no,’ from other organizations, I wish people shifted their perspective to see that as an asset instead of a disqualifier to services.
SarahAnn:
People don’t realize that we are working with a community that is basically on the bottom of the totem pole. Not only do we work with women of color but they are also survivors. Sometimes it feels impossible because we already have all of these stigmas against us anyways. I don’t think people realize how hard we work. I think the thing that sets us apart from other places is we are not here to build numbers, we are here to build a community, and I think that is a huge difference. I hate to go here, but I constantly, everyday, have someone in tears because we don’t have a group to go to right now [due to COVID closure]. We built this community that really looks out for each other even if it’s just for the time they’re in the building, and these little moments save lives. This is also my favorite thing about OPS: when I come back in it has the same faces. I think we are so different from everyone else, but we’re in this line of work where we’ve been told to be quiet for so long and I think it’s really time to be vocal about what we do and how important it is.
That’s what we are; we’re advocates advocating for our clients’ dreams and their feelings in a system that says they don’t matter.
CHELSEA
What strengths do you bring to this work?
SarahAnn:
I think as a whole the fact that we’re survivors, we really speak the same language and I think that in itself is very, very powerful. I think that’s what we bring to the table, and I think it’s not brought to the table enough so we’re really winning in that aspect. Another thing I love about us: Rekina is amazing with resources, she kills it, and Chelsea is with youth. I was in the game very young and things would have been so different if I had a Chelsea. And I’m really good at working with people who are in the mix and in crisis. That combination is a powerhouse right there. Sometimes I feel like OPS doesn’t get enough credit. Sometimes I think we don’t realize what we’re sitting on. I feel like we need to be louder.
Chelsea:
The lived experience piece, I want to echo that. There is something powerful in that. I call it the wounded healer, and part of that is the lived experience. Communities, like 12 step communities, are places where people get to a place in their healing where they give back and help others, and that’s how people stay sober. There’s no price on someone who has been there, sitting there with you and saying “I did this too.” You know how a lot of people in social work say, “I get it”? One of my client says [in response], “Bitch, you don’t.” But then says, “with you I finally feel seen and understood.” As far as my personal strengths, I feel like I hold a lot of empathy and I hold a lot of perspective, and I feel like — it’s weird talking about my own strengths, I don’t want to be out here saying like ‘I’m great’ (SarahAnn: But you are great) — I think the biggest thing is I have that gift of connection, connecting with people, bringing forward love and acceptance, and not a lot of people can connect with you like that. And I really connect with the kids, and they want to see me. I think that’s a big — I don’t know what that is, but I feel like that’s a strength.
Rekina:
We are genuine. I believe that we believe in our services so much, and I believe in and am proud of OPS, and that comes across in a whole different way, and being able to talk to people about the organization and what we offer. They say in recovery to base things on attraction rather than promotion, there is attraction to everything that is in OPS. Participants love OPS, they will ride for OPS; I think that comes across, and that we believe in the place that we work. That is very rare to believe in the place that we work, for the most part. I also think we all have kind of an intermediate skill set for strategic planning. It probably doesn’t seem like this when we do it on the back end, but we do it. We have experience with crises, so from this point in all of our journeys we can help navigate a lot of the systems we’ve had to fight ourselves. I believe that’s a huge skillset that we don’t always give ourselves credit for. We come up with a plan, execute it, and can be flexible at the same time because we have to be flexible.
So from this point in all of our journeys we can help navigate a lot of the systems we’ve had to fight ourselves.
REKINA
What kind of resilience/strength do you see in your role?
SarahAnn:
They make something out of nothing, constantly. Sometimes it’s hard to watch because you want to help, you know, but sometimes it’s very endearing. To be at a Thursday group and see that yeah, we advocate for them, but they advocate for each other. To watch them do that is amazing for me. To hear clients say, “I helped so and so,” they really come together and help. I love to see it because at the end of the day the only thing that’s going to bring us any progress is community. Because that’s what saved me, that’s what gave me hope. Then we definitely don’t have that clinical feel, which is nice. They don’t get enough credit and we don’t get enough credit
Rekina:
Yeah, single mothers going to school and living through the pandemic.
Chelsea:
I think about this a lot when I’m in [clinical meetings] and all these white clinicians that are using terms and then my youth, which primarily all my youth are Black girls, and they’re on there like, “what does that mean?” It’s just interesting to see. And I feel like there is a thing about OPS and the power of community and, like you said, making something out of nothing. I think about my youth who are in the system sleeping in hotels, sleeping in cars, with social workers, and going to school, not having a stable place to live, but still fighting for their dreams.
We’ve been told to be quiet for so long and I think it’s really time to be vocal about what we do and how important it is.
SARAHANN
What does self-care look like for you?
Rekina:
Self-care looks like work for me. Self-care for me is working on myself. Like Chelsea was saying, that wounded healer thing is real, a lot of my scars haven’t healed yet. I’m still processing and coming to terms with things that are finally settling in. I do a lot of work on myself so that I can speak from a position of power over the things that have kept me down in the past and will continue to keep me down if I don’t address them. I do this extra work on myself, there are days that I stay up late and I’m digging deep into some reading that I’m doing to make sense of myself. To me it’s also work, to try to disconnect from the work at the end of the day. Self-care for me is a different type of work, but continuing to work on myself so I can continue to be this wounded healer, or a less-wounded healer.
SarahAnn:
It’s hard work. Self-care is hard work. I’m kind of where Rekina is. I used to think it was going to Ross and things like that, but it’s not. It’s staying clean and sober, being honest, holding yourself accountable, it’s all that. It’s searching for the best version of you basically. Which I think is hard for survivors because we’ve been taught that there is no best version. To me that’s what it is. I wish it was just going to the nail shop, I’d be really good at it then. And I think too that self-care has to be separating yourself at some point. As hard as it seems, when 5pm hits I have to turn my phone off because I’ll sit here all night long wondering where everyone is, how they are doing. At the same time I think that’s one of our strengths because I was that way in the life. You kind of bring the same skills [to this work,] you don’t realize you have the same skills. I think also as survivors it kind of feels like all eyes are on you anyways, so it’s really hard to be vulnerable. It’s really hard to say, “I’m having a hard day,” because a lot of people, especially allies, are looking at you thinking, “she’s going to drop the ball.” So it’s really hard to be vulnerable and to be that way when there’s a whole group of people already waiting for you to drop the ball. Self-care becomes very important because you kind of ignore your triggers because you don’t want to seem weak or like you can’t do this.
Chelsea:
What self-care means to me is doing the work I really don’t want to do, and it’s not — like SarahAnn was saying — it’s not bubble baths or getting my nails done. Really what it is is going within myself and healing those versions of myself so that I don’t project that onto my clients. I think that that’s super important, and when I feel myself getting really worked up about a single client I have to stop and think what’s coming up for me, because they’re a mirror of what’s unhealed for me. Being vulnerable with my support system, and allowing myself that space or giving myself permission to take space or to rest. I have this productivity guilt, if I’m just resting I feel guilty, so working through that. Also participating in my spiritual community. I’ve been taking a class in shamanic healing and I’m in my second year now, really connecting with that as part of my healing. Self-care, I think we don’t talk about it enough in social work, and especially being a survivor doing this work, we don’t talk about it enough. Sel-care and what it means, and how it’s a daily practice. It’s having those rituals that I start my day with, it’s a daily thing. Feeling my feelings and setting intentions every day for myself, and yeah that separation is so important and holding that boundary. You know, my phone’s going to be off at this time or I can’t talk right at this moment, holding those boundaries is so important. It’s also modeling. When I take care of myself I’m modeling to my clients that it’s okay to take care of themselves and it’s okay to have boundaries. A lot of our clients don’t know how to assert boundaries, and have just been used and abused, and so we get to hold that and model that. So it’s also helping them even if they’re like, “fuck you.” That’s a loaded topic and it looks different for everyone, but it’s doing that work. Unfortunately the reality is people knowing you’re a survivor, they form their own biases about you and project that even if they don’t know that they’re doing that, and they just automatically assume. You have to work 10x harder as a survivor in this work under those other agencies and people, you have to work 10x harder because automatically knowing you’re a survivor they have those biases about you. And that’s heavy. Like when you’re a survivor and you’re five minutes late for a meeting they’re like, “oh of course she’s late.” If you show any emotion they’re like, “oh she’s triggered.” No, I’m fucking human. There is a lot of stigma and people think they have you already figured out, and that is sort of the challenge in being a survivor and doing this work, you’re coming up against people who are also working with survivors but put you in a lesser category.
What have you been listening to/watching/reading/seeing/doing lately?
Rekina:
Qveen Herby, she has this meditation. She has a lot of stuff that’s really motivating or powerful, and I do this meditation of hers every day called “Good Morning.” It helps me start my day and get in a mindset for the day. It’s a lot of women empowerment type music.
SarahAnn:
I’ve been painting a lot, I’ve been seeing my creative mentor every Friday which has been amazing. So I’ve painted a lot. That’s very healing for me, that’s where it all started for me, so yeah I paint a lot. I’ve been into tarot cards lately, they’ve been speaking for me.
Chelsea:
I’ve been making candles, and I’ve kind of realized I hadn’t been making them for a while and also that I want to continue that as a practice. Tapping into my creativity brings me so much joy and effort. Also I’ve been journaling every morning and I’m getting into The Artist’s Way, it talks about the morning pages which is a practice every day where you just write intuitively so I’ve been getting really into that. I kind of mix it up every day. Sundays I want to listen to old school R&B and hip hop, other days I want to do a sort of grunge era, like PJRB. Watering my plants and doing my altar. I go on walks every day.
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OPS relies on the support of our community to continue serving participants and providing women with a place that feels like home to aid their healing. The pandemic has had a substantial impact on our budget, both due to the availability of funding as well as an increased need to provide financial support to participants. OPS is also striving to increase the ways we engage with community members and grassroots groups, and rely on mutual support throughout the region. Please be on the lookout for more opportunities for engagement, including remote and in-person events and trainings.
You can support us as we steer towards these new engagements by making a personal donation. We know that this past year has impacted individual funds in many ways, and welcome any support people can provide: through an individual financial donation, encouraging philanthropic engagement with our organization, volunteering or joining our Board of Directors, or spreading the word about OPS and its services.